2016 so far

Hella worst but damn good.

My receipt for all your congratulatory remarks doesn’t mean I had a smooth sail. So brace yourselves because for the first time, I will be sharing a detailed never-heard-before-personal story below.

Unknown to most of my friends and family, I struggled in a life I had never imagined. I moved to Manila two years ago with nothing but only a dream with me. I underestimated its difficulty, thinking everything planned will turn out smoothly; to arrive in Manila, get a job so I could have money to pay for Fashion school until I can work in the industry but suddenly, fate says no. I had to face every life lesson I encountered in between. (Check out my #SurvivingManila posts)

Imagine being stuck in an unhappy job for seven months without pay; thus being broke for months as well.

Though I kept sneaking in a few part-time jobs in between, my body was drained from learning not to sleep.

Why it took me seven months before I finally took a leap of faith and left? My accommodation was provided, so even without pay, I had no bills. Yet it ended up consuming my savings in the long run until I was left with nothing to the point where I can no longer afford to pay for my own rental downpayment thus staying was my safest option.

One night, a friend invited me to come over that unexpectedly reached a week of not going home and made me grab this chance to get a new life. That sleepover had me nothing but my one handbag so she had to lend me her clothes for the meantime while I’m looking for a new job. I decided to go back to teaching so I work mostly at night while waiting for my application from corporate companies.

But the agony doesn’t end here. My friend and her family with whom I was staying began to be suspicious about my work and its schedule. Nonetheless, I was backlashed with disbelief and summoned by them how ungrateful I am to stay in their home (which I never even asked for in the first place). So I had to leave for the second time around.

The price I have to pay was being homeless for almost a month that forced me to sleep in the office, spend nights in fast-food chains and internet cafes or even out with friends (thanks guys for free showers and free clothes), walking more than commuting, eating at least once a day (why I got skinnier) until I finally saved up to pay for my own place. I haven’t communicated with my family during this time since I don’t want them to worry about my situation.

These were the moments when I cross-fingered almost everyday of my life and I learned to live one day at a time, that I no longer care what will happen the next day. It’s a battle between me and God against the world.

Lessons were learned. My seven month unhappy job not only taught me the tricks and trade in business but also how to be patient. I also found out that not everyone was by my side so I had to filter which ones were genuine. And although it didn’t turned out well, after all that former friend was my turning point to start anew so I had no regrets at all. And obviously, I survived.

Before, I only believed that there could be light at the end of every tunnel but hey, when it rains, it pours. I was not only blessed with a new job and new set of genuine friends, my career was on its peak that I can now juggle at least four to five jobs at a time. I teach, write, (went to a contractual day job for 2mos), STYLE and now I work as a Marketing in Backyard Kitchen + Brew on a regular basis. Yay!

Even though I had a misunderstanding with my parents for years that I only talk to them for a few times a year, my dad surprisingly flew on my birthday (like wow they even ditched my debut before lol). The occurence reminded me that I wasn’t alone, and that I have a family to look back to. It dawned on me that I had been spending Christmas alone and I suddenly thought it wasn’t okay so at this point in time, I was too inspired to work harder and treat them on Christmas. The last time I remember, I was too young when we last celebrated together so why not a reunion? But of course my financial goal was to not let them spend at all so I organized the whole thing from booking the Airbnbs, planning out the whole itinerary, deciding on food, sewing their clothes for the family photo op. Eventually, all my efforts paid off.

I’m back to reality by now (and my savings may all be gone haha) but everything was worth it. Money will no longer be a thing to worry since I was trained in the hard way. I look forward to more moments to cherish instead. To the people who never left me whether virtually or in person, you guys know who you are or perhaps some of you weren’t aware that your little act of kindness was already a big help to me. I am more than blessed to have met all of you.

Now I didn’t wrote this down for self-pity, but to uplift and remind me over and over again how I overcome all struggles with God beside me and yup, HE NEVER FAILS.

Bring it on 2017, what do you have for me?

3 thoughts on “2016 so far

  1. farrah says:

    Momshieee, I know your struggles so proud of you na nalampasan mo yun. Idol jud tka anang mga hustling nimo. You deserve everything you have now kay hardworking kaayo ka. Im happy na ok na kayo ng family mo, at alam ko happy ka din kahit ideny mo pa! Miss you powzz haha

    • chamtanteras says:

      Woooowwww thank you momshieeee for also being part of my life although til now idol pa rin baya talaga kita ah. Miss you na!

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